getting my head examined

On a local newscast this morning, they did a piece on cell phone dependence and addiction, which elicited a chortle from me. Everyone who knows me knows that I’m not a big fan of cell phones. I don’t think they’re completely evil; in fact, I even own an ancient ghetto TracFone that I keep in my car for emergencies (not that this is something I advertise in pride, mind you; every time I see the phone in my glovebox, it looks the ’80s are stuffed in there). Cell phones are, of course, fantastic for emergencies, as well as being great for situations where, say, you’re supposed to meet someone for dinner and you’re running late (and since I live in an area that currently has, according to Forbes.com, the third worst gridlock in the United States, running late is always a possibility), or when you’re supposed to meet someone but can’t quite find them, and so on. And for some lines of work, they are quite important and sometimes even essential.

So yeah, cell phones come in handy, and I don’t blame anybody for having them. But what really frosts my cookies (™Melissa Leeper) is how phone-dependent people have become. We survived for eons without instant communication; why are so many people suddenly unable to do this now? Have silence and aloneness become taboo? Heaven forbid you’re out of reach for a few hours! Or that you simply devote yourself to shopping at Target or walking down the street without the aid of a cell phone at your ear! Because, really, it seems like every time I’m out shopping, everyone around me in the aisles is chatting on a cell phone. A dozen one-sided conversation fragments swoop and dip around me like a bothersome cloud of mosquitoes. Recently I even encountered a woman gabbing on her cell while we were in the bathroom at work. Is no place sacred? And why do people have to be reminded to turn off their phones in libraries and cinemas? Shouldn’t that be instinctual? Apparently that’s not the case anymore.

I don’t want to hear other people’s one-sided conversations when I’m trudging through the supermarket or eating at a restaurant. I’m not a crotchety old person screaming for kids to keep it down and get off my lawn, and, living in a busy, sprawling suburban area, I have to be okay with a landscape of inevitable noise, but at the same time, I’m also a big fan of silence, even if it only comes in pockets. Why make that landscape of noise worse than it already is by adding a greasy veneer of cell phone chatter to it? Also, a person can miss so many things when constantly using a cell phone! Just like light pollution has blotted out the stars, so too has cell phone pollution blotted out simple aural pleasures: bird songs, leaves, silence.

I think what bothers me the most about the pervasiveness of our cell phone culture is that it is indicative of a larger problem in society. We’re expected to always be connected with other people. Solitude is bad, socialization is good. As Anneli Rufus remarked in her book Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto:

“The mob thinks we are maladjusted. …they assemble the troops and call us names. Crazy. Cold. Stuck-up. Standoffish. Aloof. Afraid. Lacking in social skills. Bizarre. Unable to connect. Incapable of love. Freaks. Geeks. Sad. Lonely. Selfish. Secretive. Ungrateful. Unfriendly. Serial killers.”

Don’t believe her? Check out pretty much every news article ever written about a serial killer, school shooter, etc. They all focus on the person’s solitude, as if that explains why the person was crazy enough to burst into a daycare center and open fire. Aside from the occasional sensational piece about the serial killer who was an active member in his local community (such as the BTK Killer in Kansas), no article ever points out that the killer was sociable. Because that is beside the point. But the fact that the killer was a loner apparently isn’t beside the point. Double standard.

I’m biased, I know. If you’ve ever cruised through my quotes collection, then you know how much I cherish and celebrate solitude. But, bias aside, I really do think it’s a damn shame that there is so much pressure put on people to socialize and to constantly be in touch with other people. And, on top of that, society is becoming increasingly enamored with multitasking and always being on the go—another manifestation of the same disease that spawns excess cell phone (and BlackBerry/Sidekick/etc) usage. Modern kids are often over-scheduled with play dates, activities, this and that. Adults are encouraged to do as much as possible and have it all. If you’re waiting for a train or walking to your office, you’re expected to be doing something constructive with your time: firing off an email, making a quick call. You can’t just…think. Ponder. Admire the sky. Zone out. Notice the sunlight quivering on the sides of buildings. Those things are considered wasteful. And it’s like leisure is okay only if it’s a) kept to a minimum, and b) filled with activities. Loafing and vegging are sadly becoming lost arts.

This has nothing to do with cell phone addiction, but I’ll mention that I have applied for inclusion in a medical study currently being conducted at Johns Hopkins University. A researcher there is studying nonsyndromic craniosynostosis, with the ultimate goal of identifying genes and environmental factors causing this condition. I hope I’m accepted, because I’d love to find out more about what may’ve caused the CS, as well as what my chances are for passing it on, should I ever decide to have kids. The study would involve the researcher getting blood samples and possibly DNA samples from my parents and me, as well as having us fill out detailed questionnaires. I can provide copies of my medical records, but have no idea if Hershey Med still has copies of my head x-rays on file, since we’re talking about the passage of 30+ years. It’d be interesting to see them if they do still exist, though!



song heard most recently before posting: Paint a Vulgar Picture—The Smiths