Is God up there?

I’ve been alarmingly over-obsessed with the Fritzl case lately. Maybe I’m just a ghoul, or maybe reincarnation really does exist and this case is striking a note with me because of something I endured in a past life. (Christ, I hope not!)

I’ve seen some uncomfortably tasteless remarks about the case online. Look, I can be as snarky and inappropriate as the next gal, but joking about other people’s traumas is way over the line. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think kidnapping, rape, incest, and being forced to live in a dungeon for years is particularly amusing. The least the public can do is show Elisabeth and her children some fucking respect.

While the mocking jokesters online got to spend their twenties and thirties leading a normal life—going to parties, hanging out with friends, dating, drinking too much, gaining their independence, getting married, going on vacations, etc.—Elisabeth spent her twenties and thirties condemned to a hellish prison, immersed in a horror movie that boggles the imagination. Her youth—her formative years—were wrenched from her in the cruelest possible way. She couldn’t even use suicide as an escape, because doing so would mean leaving her kids alone with their monster father.

And those kids of hers…my god. The youngest is close in age to my niece. I think of all the things Olivia has experienced in her life so far (she’s even been to Disney World twice; I’ve never even been there once!) and how little Felix never got to experience even the smallest of those moments: making snow angels, attending a friend’s birthday party, playing with pets.

Realizing what has been stolen from those three kids is almost more than the mind can process. Yes, they had a TV and VCR, so yes, they’ve technically seen what exists in the real world. But we all know that seeing something on TV isn’t the same thing as seeing it in real life; it really doesn’t even count. I saw the Alps on TV before I got to see them in real life, and let me tell you, the former experience doesn’t hold a fucking candle to the latter. Case in point: one Daily Mail report says:

When Felix first looked at the moon on his release, he asked his rescuers: “Is God up there?”

And when he saw the sun he was even more excited, making a squeaking noise and trying to look directly at it through his fingers.

Doctors said that since he came out he is in a constant state of excitement. When he saw a cow for the first time in his life he excitedly made “gurgling noises,” but when police took him in a lift he was petrified and clung on to his mother as the floor moved.

Another report said:

The police who took Stefan and Felix to the reunion with their other siblings were the first strangers the boys had ever seen. The pair had never been in a car and whooped with excitement as the vehicle set off, as if they were on a fairground ride. Etz said: “They were amazed at the speed and really excited. They had never known anything like it – they had only ever seen cars on TV in the dungeon. Little Felix was beside himself with excitement. He was shrieking with pleasure when he saw cars coming the other way. He and his brother braced themselves whenever a car went past. They kept thinking there was going to be a head-on crash. They were fascinated by the headlights and were shouting and hiding behind the seats.”

Even the simplest, most commonplace sights fill them with wonder. So, disregarding whatever they’ve seen on TV over the years, let’s think for a minute about all the things denied to these children.

Aside from the biggies, like freedom and fresh air, there are a billion little things that we take for granted every day. These kids have never seen the moon, sun, stars, rainbows, or clouds. They’ve never seen a thunderstorm or falling rain or bright autumn foliage. They’ve never seen birds flying overhead. They’ve never felt the refreshment of the warm sun on a cool day or a cool breeze on a warm day. They’ve never walked barefoot through soft grass. They’ve never even seen grass. They’ve never watched fireworks. They’ve never been to the movies. They’ve never seen sleek horses grazing in a field or fish and ducks swimming in a pond. They’ve never seen or petted dogs and cats. They’ve never been swimming or splashed in a puddle. They live in Austria—land of the Alps—and yet they’ve never seen mountains or snow. They’ve never been sledding or played in the snow. They’ve never ridden an amusement park ride. They’ve never been shopping. They’ve never used a telephone or a computer. They’ve never seen or smelled flowers. They’ve never gone for a walk or run with abandon. They’ve never seen butterflies and fireflies. They’ve never seen a Christmas tree glistening with lights.

Their dungeon life has contained no gardens, libraries, friends, parties, restaurants, or sunsets. The teens have never experienced standard rites of passage like attending sleepovers and friends’ parties, dating and falling in love, driving a car, getting a summer job, testing parental boundaries.

Think of the freedoms you’re able to exercise every single day. Think of the choices you’re allowed to make. You can lock yourself in a room or let yourself out. You can choose to venture outside or stay indoors. You can wear what you want and eat what you want.

The tiniest spark of good news? The kids have youth on their side and their mom does, too. She lost her formative years, but at 42, she’s still young enough to have many years of joy and exploration ahead of her, if she’s not too damaged to embrace them. Kerstin and Stefan lost their childhood, but at least they didn’t emerge from their prison at, like, age 95. At least there is still time for them to hopefully learn how to forge connections with other people, make friends, gain independence, see more of the world, and fall in love. The same goes for Elisabeth.

I just hope they’re able to survive this trauma and regain the dignity that was stolen from them by their father.

song heard most recently before posting:
New Year’s Day—U2