So anyway, last night I was working and dealing with a particularly meddlesome, frustrating set of author changes that made me want to go above and beyond the level of pulling out my hair out and instead pull out my teeth. All of a sudden I heard a loud, rat-tat-tat dripping noise. “What the hell?” I asked Plath, who was snoozing on a pile of manuscripts at my feet. I thought perhaps my kitchen faucet had inexplicably begun dripping. I put down my lap desk and pen and headed to the kitchen.
Aaaaaaaaand I found water pouring out of the top of my kitchen doorway. What. The. Fuck. Actually, I shouldn’t be surprised by this at all, because two years ago water spontaneously began pouring out of the ceiling light fixture in my kitchen. So there you go. This is the kind of apartment I’m dealing with.
I stood there slack-jawed for a while, then ripped myself out of my stupor and grabbed a bucket to catch the water. After a while I figured out that the water wasn’t coming from my doorway after all, but from one of the air ducts in the laundry room, which borders my kitchen. The water was leaking out of the duct, running along its length, and then heading toward my doorway. I discovered that it wasn’t even water I was seeing, but some kind of brownish fluid that left a sticky residue wherever it landed. Huh? My floor was sticky, the bucket was sticky, the duct leaking the fluid was sticky. It was pretty disgusting, actually, and I had to spray everything with bleach in order to get rid of all the stickiness. After the dripping stopped I wrapped up the troublesome area with duct tape. (Just call me Bob Vila! But it is duct tape, after all, and this was a leaky duct, so...) I vowed to call my landlord today if the problem returns. Calling him is a last resort, because he’s pretty useless and doesn’t fix half the things he’s supposed to fix, which only succeeds in leaving me seething with fury—not something I really need right now.
In less teeth-gritting news, I got this one from Shawn a while back, and I thought I’d fill it out while groaning and digesting the enormous meal I just ate at a vegetarian Indian buffet with some coworkers:
The Summer Survey
Summer — General
Favorite cookout food? — My options are kind of limited, what with me being a vegetarian and all. So I’ll say veggie burgers and corn on the cob.
Favorite summer drink? — Nothing that’s any different from any other time of the year.
What do you look forward to when summer comes? — Thunderstorms (but not losing my power because of them!). Strappy sandals.
Do you join any sports? — Ha!!!!!!!! Unless you count bitching about the heat as a sport.
Do you wear a one-piece or two-piece bathing suit? — Dude, I want one of those head-to-toe swimsuits that were recently invented for Muslim women, just because nobody needs to see my ass/stomach/thighs on display. Until then, I settle for swim trunks with a regular swimsuit top. But if I were swimming in a place where no one else was around, I’d be naked all the way.
Would you rather it be winter? — Kind of, yeah, because I HATE THE HEAT.
How many times do you hit the beach? — Rarely, just because I’m so busy. I love the beach, though, so last summer I made a point of taking off work for a day and going to the beach to spend hours swimming in the ocean until I was dizzy and gagging. Literally.
How many BBQs do you have? — None.
What time do you go to bed in the summer? — Same time as always: 11pm on weekdays, whenever I feel like it on weekends.
Do you go camping? — I love nature, but camping honestly doesn’t appeal to me. I’ve never even done it…aside from that time some friends and I camped out at Knoebel’s Grove overnight during college.
Summer — This or That
Flip-flops or shoes? — Sandals as much as possible.
Beach or pool? — Either one, as long as I don’t have to be near a lot of people—especially screaming kids. I love being in the water.
Bug-bite or sun burn? — What, do I prefer one or the other? Uh…neither? Who likes being bitten by bugs or sunburned??
Better swimsuit piercing: nipples or belly? — Neither one appeals to me, but I guess belly is a little better, even though it’s so clichéd.
In a relationship or single? — Single, baby!
Hang with friends or family? — Either one suits me just fine.
Hit the clubs or BBQs? — BBQs, I guess, because clubbing bores me.
Layout or fake bake? — I like being pale, actually! But if I wanted color, I’d get a fake tan. Real tans cause premature aging, yo!
Last Summer — 2006
Did you go to Disney World or Cedar Point? — I’ve never been to either one!
What vacations did you go on? — A long weekend in Athens, GA, visiting Annida. Then, in the autumn (yeah, I know, that doesn’t count as summer), I went to London for a few days.
Who did you hang with everyday? — My cats.
What was the worst memory of last summer? — I guess just dealing with the stress of working 900 hours a week and living with very noisy people above me.
How did you celebrate the Fourth of July? — Uhhh… *scratches head*…I don’t know…just hung out at home, I guess? I honestly don’t remember.
What was one thing you did every week last summer? — Worked!
Favorite summer 2006 clothing item? — There’s this floral wrap dress that I loved wearing, because it’s so comfortable and cute and doesn’t wrinkle.
Favorite song of last summer? — Probably “Your Ex-Lover is Dead,” by Stars, because I was kind of obsessed with it for a while.
This Summer — 2007
Where will you be going on vacation? — Nowhere, aside from going to NYC for two days over my birthday, and trying to visit Angela in NC and/or David in Chicago. My big summer event (knock on wood!) will be buying a home. And I’ll start saving for my next Euro trip, too.
How will you celebrate the Fourth of July? — Doing nothing. That’s a rare luxury in my current life.
The best place to be this summer? — In an air-conditioned building.
song heard most recently before posting:
Secret Spell—Tori Amos
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